Returns and Mistakes
by Gray Eyed Fighter
Summary: Kel is back at the Palace after a long Scanran war. She is still getting over some things, when she makes a life changing mistake. KelNeal. RR luv ya!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: Don't own it. Don't like it? Don't read it.**

**Wow, i am so out of it these days. I am having a bit of writer's block on 'A Rider From a Lady', so suggestions will be welcome, and in the meantime, I will be writing my little Kel/Neal fic that I promised to my patient reviewers.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_When You're Gone _** by Bryan Adams (still keeping it Canadian)**

**luv ya!**

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Keladry of Mindelan sighed with relief as she passed through the gates of Corus. It had been over two years since the fall of Blayce the Gallan, and finally, _finally_, the gods cursed Scanran War was drawing to a close. Tortall had more allies than enemies now.

Tortall's historical enemies had always been Scanra, Tusaine, the Copper Islands, the Carthaki Empire, and Sarain. Occasionally they would fight over borders with Galla and Tyra, and rarely with a powerful Maren. The Yamani Islands were different, more secluded, and attacking with a change of emperor's favour.

Now that King Maggur was being persecuted by his own people, Tortall had left the northern country to sort its own problems, given that no Tortallan land was attacked.

Ever since the Drell River Peace, Tusaine had remained on their side of the valley. Old King Ain had died, and his successor did not wish to anger Tortall.

With the coming of the part raka Queen Dovasary of the Kyprin Isles, both raka and luarin residents of the Islands were more peaceful, no longer incited by the fear of the Rittevon dynasty. The Kyprin Isles were allies to Tortall, and were at peace with the Eastern and Southern lands.

Carthak was also an ally of the eastern lands. with Kalasin of Conte as their empress, and Emperor Kaddar now in control of his people, Carthak no longer posed a threat as it used to. It was rumoured also that Saraiyu Balitang, sister to Queen Dovasary was a close advisor to the empress, and retained a peace between Tortall, Carthak, and the Kyprin Isles.

Sarain was still in disarray, and would most likely never regain its previous name and wealth. the native K'miri tribes were constantly at war with each other and with the king. Queen Thayet's estranged father was aging, but alive and partially in control of his lands. They did not have the strength or the leadership to attack other lands, and were left to a civil war.

With the new peace treaty, and the marriage of Princess Shinkokami to Prince Roald, the Yamani Islands were calm and did not bother the other lands.

The king of Galla had recently signed a treaty with Tortall and Tusaine, confirming the north eastern border. They were at peace, and would continue to be so, while the young king reigned from Cria.

Tyrans kept to themselves, left in their swamp lands. The government of Tyra was a strange one. They were the only known realm of the Eastern and Southern lands to be a republic. It was unheard of and scorned by the other lands. Before the reign of Queen Tyne, and King Jonathan the First of Tortall, the people of Tyra had rebelled and created this new system. It was said that King Jonathan the First was in fact the son of the executed King and Queen of Tyra, and he had come to Tortall during the country's own minor revolution.

The last of the known lands of the Mortal Realms was Maren. It was a wealthy land, its economy rested upon the enormous grain production in its vast fields. No other country attempted to debate the holdings of land and fields with Maren.

Kel had never been a knight during peace time, and she didn't know what she would be doing to occupy her time. She would just have to practice and wait for her next assignment from the King.

Kel was pulled from her thoughts as she approached the Palace. It was just like how she remember it from three years before. She hadn't seen most of her friends in that time. What if they didn't recognize her? She had let her hair grow longer. Neal had once asked her what she would look like with longer, more ladylike hair.

"Copper for your thoughts." Kel turned to face Domitan of Masbolle, a sergeant in the King's Own. She had once thought herself in love with him, but, like her other crushes, that too had faded over time. She now thought herself nothing more than fickle, and was determined never to show any affection for a man, for fear that her feelings would change and she would have her heart broken, or would break his.

A hand flashed in front of her eyes. "Keladry, wake up." she turned her head. "You were in another world there. What's on your mind?"

"Nothing Dom," she said. "I'm just tired. I've never been a knight during peace times, and I'm not sure what I'm going to do with myself."

"Kel, you worry too much. Just enjoy yourself. You haven't seen my dear cousin Meathead in nearly three years. Have some fun torturing him."

She laughed. "I'll leave that for you. Do you have someone to come home to?"

He nodded. "Actually, Lady Juliette of Horseshoe Cove is waiting for me. Do you have anyone?"

Kel sighed and shook her head. "No. I mean who would ever like a Lady Knight, who's always off defending the country."

"Now don't say that Kel." he said as they brushed their mounts. "You had Cleon of Kennan, and I know for a fact that my beloved cousin was writing poetry to you in your squire years. I don't think he ever stopped even."

Kel's brush fell to the floor. "Neal? My best friend Neal? Nealan of Queenscove? Are we talking about the same person here?"

"And why wouldn't we be?"

"Because my best friend always had an eye for court beauties. Something he developed from his blue-eyed cousin i believe. I am far from a court beauty."

Dom stopped her as she left the stables. "Keladry, you're prettier than you think. And you'd know that if you looked carefully in the mirror next time. You're not the same tomboy page that you once were."

Kel left with more on her mind. She took her pack and saddlebags to her rooms. Inside, she took a minute to put everything away.

After taking a bath and changing into a clean brown linen dress, Kel had mostly forgotten what Dom had said.

She made her way to the knights mess hall. It was half full. A number of knights had been on leave, or had already returned, but a number were due to arrive later.

Too tired to look for her friends, she took a tray of food from the servers, ignoring the stares from a number of men who didn't recognize the Lady Knight, and were wondering why there was a woman in a dress here with the men.

She was about to sit in a corner when a call rang out.

"Kel! Keladry of Mindelan!" she turned. The call had come from one Owen of Jesslaw, now a knight and one of Kel's best friends. Seated with him were Neal, Merric, who had come from New Hope with Kel, Seaver, Esmond, Faleron, and to her annoyance, Cleon of Kennan and his wife Ermelian of Aminar.

She hadn't seen Cleon in nearly four years, since he had told her of his betrothal to Ermelian. She had resented the fact that he, though stationed at Steadfast, hadn't come with her to Scanra.

Owen was waving frantically to an unmoving Kel. Her eyes met Cleon's cold gray gaze, and she felt tears prick the back of her eyes. Quickly, she shot him a glance, and not wanting to speak with Cleon, gave her untouched tray to the cleaners, and strode from the hall, leaving a number of shocked knights in her wake.

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As Kel left the hall, everyone turned to Merric, who had come south with her.

"Merric," Neal started. The red haired knight looked up to the many sets of waiting eyes. "Did something happen to Kel that we should know about?"

He shrugged and pointed at Cleon, "Ask him."

Cleon looked at him in shock. "Why me?"

"Well, she took one look at you, began to cry and ran from the hall. Now I don't know about the rest of you, but never in the nearly twelve years I've know her, have I ever seen Kel cry."

There was a murmur of assent. All eyes fixed on Cleon. "What did I do? I haven't even seen or spoken to Kel in over three years."

"No you haven't" Neal said, "But what was the last thing you _did_ say to Kel."

Cleon thought, "That I was betrothed-" his eyes grew in comprehension. " I see. Now I should go after her."

"No you shouldn't" Faleron said. "She'll throw you out, most likely. It should be Neal. He's her best friend." they all nodded.

Neal glanced regretfully at his half eaten food, then took his tray to the cleaners and set off down the hallway to Kel's room.

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**TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:**

**I know that I said I'd do one shots, but I've got some Ideas. This will be Kel/Neal for the first bit, then will get different. I'm sorry, but I put myself in a fix with 'A Rider From a Lady', and now I have a bit of a block. I will continue that one though.**

**Review please**

**luv ya!**


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER: I hate writing these. I mean what's the bloody point. You lot are smart enough, at least I hope, to figure it out. SO GET OFF MY BLOODY CASE!!!!!!!!!!! That was a shout out to the Powers That Be.**

**Okay, now that that's out of the way. You know the few people that read this story actually liked it. This was just me throwing random ideas into TextEdit, to fulfill a promise I made. Cool!**

**The whole deal that I wrote about Tyra. Well I remember reading that it was in fact a republic merchant country. When I remember where I read it, I'll get beck to you. But the rebellion thing, you see about that when I start my next story, 'Tyne of Tortall'. You'll see.**

**luv ya!**

OoOoOoOoO

It was nearly Midwinter. The snow was knee deep in parts. It was dark early, and by the time Neal reached Kel's rooms, the sun had already begun to sink, and the moon had begun its course.

Kel wasn't in her rooms, nor was she in the indoor practice courts. He checked the libraries, only to find them devoid of any Kel.

He was walking along a corridor which overlooked the outdoor archery range, when he heard the snap of a bow. 'Who would be practising outside so late in the middle of winter?' he thought.

Looking outside, Neal saw a familiar brown haired girl in a dress. With a sigh, he walked outside, and looked at his best friend.

Kel was holding a bow nearly as tall as her. Her face was set as she raised the Yamani bow and took the long arrow between her thumb and forefinger. It took her a moment to steady the bow, then shoot.

"Kel, what in Mithros' name are you doing?"

"I'm thinking, Neal" she said without looking up.

"Keladry, you're up to your knees in snow!"

"It helps me think."

"It's very cold out."

"I live in a northern fief, I'm used to it." She shot another arrow at the target.

"It's late."

"It's quieter. I can concentrate."

"Kel, you can barely see the target."

"It makes me focus harder." She shot another arrow.

Neal took this pause as an opportunity to take Kel by the shoulders and spin her around. "Kel, listen. I haven't seen you in over two years. Now you come back only to take one glance at us and run crying from the mess hall. Now I see you outside at night in the middle of winter shooting knee deep in snow, not even wearing a cloak over a thin dress, shooting a bow that you don't even like, or remember how to shoot. And you can't even tell me what's wrong? Kel, I'm your best friend!"

Kel lowered her bow. "Neal, maybe we're not the best friends we once were. We're not as close as we were as pages, and maybe we're just not the 'best friend' type."

Neal was shocked. "Kel, how can you say that? Who offered to sponsor you when no one else would as a page? That was me.

"Joren also offered, and no one asked you to. In fact I remember people, namely Wyldon, telling you not to."

"Who helped you with homework? Who showed you around the Palace? Who helped you with bullies? Who stood beside you through your entire first year, when no one else would? Me, me, me, and me again."

"Neal, I never said that we weren't friends, but I'm also friends with Esmond and Seaver, and I don't tell them everything. We're just not as close."

"Kel, who was willing to redo four years as a page, after already being too old, just so that you could find Lalasa? Who followed you to Scanra, risking treason and execution. If that's not a test of our friendship Kel, than I don't know what is. how can you, after only two years apart, say that we aren't close anymore?"

Kel looked up into Neal's brilliant green eyes. "So Neal, how's Yuki?"

Neal looked and blushed, "She got married two years ago. Her parents arranged a wedding with a rich Yamani noble. They didn't want her marrying a foreigner."

Kel's eyes hardened, "I knew that Neal. Do you want to know just how I knew? Dom told me. Domitan of Masbolle, your cousin."

"He would know. He seems to always know everything about me."

"I shouldn't have heard it from Dom." Kel's voice was calm, but cutting and icy. "I should have heard it from you, Nealan. you say that we're close? That we're best friends? Why didn't you tell me when your betrothed of a _year_ leaves. Where were you when the refugees were kidnapped? You only came after I had already left. Where were you when Cleon got married? There are some things, Nealan, that I can't say to you anymore."

Kel turned and left the courts, leaving a stunned Neal behind her. She ran to her rooms, and locked the doors. When she was safely inside, she collapsed on her bed. She didn't cry, her Yamani training had taken hold.

"Kel, Keladry of Mindelan open this door." Kel heard the voice of Buri, commander of the Queen's Riders through the door. Slowly, she walked up, and swung the door open. Waiting impatiently outside were Buri, Daine, Alanna, and Shinko.

They walked in, closed and locked the doors, and forced Kel into a chair.

"What was that about, Keladry," Alanna asked. "My former squire came to me asking me to talk to you after having found you shooting arrows at night in over a foot of snow."

"We talked about this last time i found you doing this," Buri added, "I told you that if you needed to talk, you should come to one of us, and not try to kill yourself outside shooting a bow that you don't even like."

Shinko knelt in front of her friend. "Kel, please tell us what's wrong. And why you can't tell Neal,"

Kel's voice was soft, "I can't tell Neal, because he doesn't understand. He's a man, and not a particularily sensitive one at that."

"We know that, Keladry," Alanna said smiling.

"It was just the fact that." Kel paused to collect her thoughts. "The past two years have been tiring at New Hope. Every week there was a raid, sometimes three times a week. I never had any time to talk to my friends, or even think about everything. Merric said that I fell into my own shell, and I suppose that he was right." she trailed off here, and looked up.

"Continue, Kel. We won't judge you here." Shinko's calm voice steadied her.

"Well, I never spoke to anyone anymore. All I ever did was work. I just threw all of my effort into running New Hope, and didn't give a thought even to my own health. When the war finished, and I was finally able to come out of it, I found that my friends had changed a lot more than I had thought. I didn't fit in anymore."

"Keladry," Daine spoke for the first time. "Your friends would accept you no matter how much they had changed, or how much you had changed."

"Nealan was very upset about your argument." Alanna put in.

Kel continued more softly. "Before I came to New Hope, I had broken off with Cleon of Kennan. He had to be married to a rich heiress to save his fief. I didn't think much of it when it happened. I think that I wasn't in love with him anymore. I thought that it was for the best. When I saw him today with his betrothed, it all hit me at once. The fact that he would never be with me again. The fact that our friendship would never be the same. And then when I saw her, I saw that she was everything he could want. Beautiful, long blonde hair, perfect skin, ringing laugh, and he looked so much in love with her. It just struck me all at once that I will never be that, or have that." She lowered her head.

"Kel, don't say that." Alanna's gaze had softened. "I'm a Lady Knight, and I still found love and happiness. I promise that there is someone out there for you. You will have that."

"It's easier for you to say," Kel said miserably, "You have Baron George. Her Majesty has His Majesty, Commander Burriam has my Lord Raoul, Daine has Master Numair, and Shinko had Prince Roald. All I have is a fickle heart."

"Now Kel, I don't want to hear you say that" Buri said calmly, "You are going to stop crying, come with us to dinner, apologize to Neal, who is extremely hurt, and you will come with us _in a dress_ to the Midwinter Ball tomorrow." Kel nodded.

Alanna and Buri each took one of Kel's elbows and lifted her from her seat. They pulled her from the rooms and led her forcefully down the hallway.

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**TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:**

**Sorry for the weird chapter. My idea well for 'A Rider From a Lady' is still a little on the dry side, so this will not be a long story, i hope, and I will try to get a few more ideas soon.**

**luv ya!**


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER: I hate writing these. I mean what's the bloody point. You lot are smart enough, at least I hope, to figure it out. SO GET OFF MY BLOODY CASE!!!!!!!!!!! That was a shout out to the Powers That Be.**

**Wow, I really hate writing disclaimers don't I? I mean if I wanted to get paid for this, would I really be writing on ? Come on now.**

**I'm sorry that I have been so late updating and writing, but I have had things to do and places to be. I would thank you kindly for reviewing.**

**Song of the Chapter: **_Radio Player _**by Allister (it's a really cool band that I just discovered. They've been around for a while, and are my new favourites.**

**luv ya!**

OoOoOoOoOoO

The next day passed slowly for Kel. She tried her hardest to avoid Neal, but not appear to do so. She spent a great deal of time practicing, until Buri and Alanna once more dragged her bodily from the practice courts.

They were sitting down for midday meal, when Kel felt a presence behind her. She tried to stand up, but felt a pair of hands on either shoulder pull her down.

"Enough, Keladry." Buri said in her ear. "You can't avoid him forever."

"I can try." Kel muttered back.

"And the sooner you talk," Buri continued, disregarding Kel's interruption. "The sooner you're friends again."

"Hello, Keladry." A cold voice said behind her. Kel's four companions stood up, and forced Neal to sit across from Kel. Alanna waved a purple glowing hand threateningly, and then they left the near empty mess hall.

Kel avoided Neal's eyes. As much as she desperately wanted his friendship back, her pride wouldn't allow her to be the first to apologize. It seemed to her that Neal felt the same way too.

They ate the rest of their meals in silence, each avoiding the other's eyes. When Kel tried to stand up, she found herself bound with cords of violet magic. Neal tried to stand up, and he too was pulled back to his seat by violet magic. Kel sighed.

"Alanna." She said. He nodded.

"It seems that neither of us will move until we've apologized, so I'll start. Kel, I'm sorry for what I said and how I didn't tell you about Yuki. I'm sorry that I snapped at you last night."

"I'm sorry too." Kel said softly, still avoiding Neal's gaze, which was fixed on her. "Sorry that I underestimated your friendship. I'm sorry that I snapped at you last night."

Neal's gaze softened. "Can we at least be friends, if not the best of?" he extended a hand.

Kel hesitated, then grasped it. "Friends."

"No secrets?" he asked, standing up.

"No secrets." She agreed. Still clasping hands, they exited the hall. As they passed through the doors, a voice came to greet them.

"And it had better stay that way." Alanna was leaning against the door frame accompanied by Kel's palace friends, Daine, and Buri.

"Yeah." Owen quipped. "You and Meathead have been best friends for so long, that it's sad to the rest of us to see you fighting."

"If you can't make it as friends," Merric put in, "Then there's no hope for the rest of us." They all laughed, and then Daine turned to Kel.

"We have to get you ready for a ball tonight. Come on!"

Kel's mouth hung open, "Why could you possibly want five hours to get ready?" She asked with a sense of dread. "And besides, I told you that I won't wear a dress." With evil smirks, Daine and Buri each placed a hand on one of Kel's shoulders, and steered her around the men. Kel shot her friends a pleading glance but their only response was from Seaver who shouted, "Pick out a nice one, Kel."

Kel was muttering to herself as the women entered her room, with her in tow. First, they forced her into a hot bath and scrubbed off every small trace of dirt from her skin.

Then they forced her into a cream linen shift with lace edges. Kel tried in vain to escape. On top of it was a deep green dress to bring out the green in Kel's hazel eyes. It was a heavy woolen gown edged in gold trim. Kel stared at the low neckline, silently shaking her head. Nonetheless, it was pulled unceremoniously over her head, and the split skirt was arranged in front of her.

Daine gently pulled the long wide sleeves off of Kel's shoulders as the taller woman tried vainly to cover her exposed chest. She had chosen to wear dresses to dinner, but never this feminine, or revealing.

By half past the third bell, all four women were dressed properly. Kel wore her green dress. Alanna wore a pretty light purple gown with a dark velvet bodice. Kel glared enviously at the dress' high neck. Both Daine's midnight blue velvet dress trimmed with silver embroidery, and Buri's dress tunic also sported high necklines, and less revealing cuts. Kel glared at Buri, who wasn't even wearing a proper dress.

"Now why do I have to wear this?" She asked.

"Because," Alanna said with a laugh, "We, as your elders, tell you to do so. We don't need to as we're all married; it would be improper to dress as a maiden desiring to be courted. You on the other hand need to attract someone."

Kel muttered Yamani curses at the laughing women under her breath.

"Now," Daine continued. "For your hair." Kel's mouse brown hair had grown to the base of her shoulder blades as she hadn't cut it in years. Alanna twisted it at the back of the girl's head and secured it with a golden clip.

They approached her with face paint. Kel only allowed a faint hint of red on her lips and cheeks, and a light dusting of dark on her eyelids.

She heard a knock on her door and stood up. Buri pulled her back down.

"Not yet, Keladry. We have one more thing for you." She held out a small box. Looking inside, Kel saw a pair of emerald earbobs.

"But my ears aren't-" she started, then looked up to see the needle in Daine's hand. "No you don't. Hair and dresses, and face paint are one thing, but I'm a knight, and I refuse to have holes pushed through my ears."

Alanna lifted her hair to show her own ears. "I'm a knight, and I have earbobs." Hanging from the redhead's ears were two amethysts.

"It doesn't mean that I want them!" Kel argued. The knock sounded again at her door. "I'm coming." She called.

"Listen, Kel." Daine said calmly. "It's just a small pain, and then you never have to get it done again. Look, all of us have them done." She showed the needle. "It barely hurts. Nothing you haven't felt before."

Kel took this chance, and bolted to the door. She swung it open, and ran headlong into Neal, Merric, Seaver, Esmond, Faleron, and Owen.

"Don't let them do it," Kel pleaded.

"Do what Kel?" Owen asked.

"She afraid," Alanna said from behind her, "Because we are going to pierce her ears."

"Kel, you have survived far worse injuries than this." Neal laughed. Kel's friends herded her into the room, where Daine still waited with the needle.

Neal held her hands and pushed her back into a chair. "Kel, just get it over with. You know that they will never let you alone if you don't get earbobs."

Kel's eyes searched her friends for help. No one answered her plea, so she turned back to Neal, and shut her eyes.

She sensed Daine approaching, but her Yamani training held firm, and she didn't move her head. She felt a soft touch on her ear, and saw a tiny flash of purple, from behind her closed eyes. She visibly relaxed.

Suddenly pain seared through her ear. She couldn't help but call out a little. She fought the urge to turn tail and run. A few seconds later, she felt Daine's soft touch on her ear, and the same shooting pain. Daine stepped back, and Kel clasped her hands to her ears, with a second cry of pain. Slowly, she regained composure and stood up carefully.

"Very good, Keladry." Alanna said. "I fainted after I got mine done." Kel let out a weak laugh. She hesitated then held the box of earbobs to Neal.

"Neal, can you put them in for me?" He looked surprised with this request, but calmly took her ear and the earbob in each hand. Kel unconsciously leaned into his cool touch. Gently, he thrust the wires of the earbobs through her ears, each in turn.

They felt strange on her, but Kel, forgetting momentarily, turned to face the others.

"Reporting for inspection, sir!" Owen said cheerfully, breaking the silence. Kel laughed, then the women left to find their husbands, and the boys all lined up facing Kel.

She moved through them quickly, re-lacing one of Merric's sleeves, straightening Faleron's collar, which was askew. Esmond's shirt was off, and Neal's tunic was twisted. Owen was in complete disarray, and Seaver was the only one to be dressed perfectly, so Kel dusted his shoulder, and turned back.

"Well, there! You all are ready to go to the ball and impress ladies."

"That one was directed at you Fal!" Merric snickered. Faleron cuffed his younger cousin.

"I'm betrothed, and you should know that." He said imperiously. They all walked to the Great Hall together, laughing at the bickering cousins. Owen and Neal both offered Kel an arm. She gladly took both.

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**TO ALL MY REVIEWERS:**

**Thank you for reading, and please review this chapter. I really have nothing else to say here, except Happy New Year!**

**luv ya!**


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